I Don’t (Won’t) Believe the Hype, Most Black Women Won’t Get Married, Says Who?

With everyone throwing his or her two cents in the whole “Why are so many successful black women single?” discussion, I felt like digging in the bottom of my proverbial purse and making my own contribution. First of all, I am going to rundown my stats for those who are unaware: single (never married), 20-something, black professional. With that being said, I’d also like to state for the record that I am disgusted with the media frenzy that has surrounded this “phenomenon”. To be quite honest, I find it perplexing that others are interested in the personal dating lives of a specific demographic. If the average person is anything like me, I would be inclined to think that most are only concerned with their dating triumphs and letdowns, in addition to those close to them. However, human nature dictates otherwise, or I wouldn’t be writing this post.

One of the main issues that I have with this “declaration” that has been deemed true by so many, is that there are so many factors left out. Because of that, it makes a minor situation seem excessively dire. First of all, the question in and of itself is quite offensive. Why is the focus on “successful” women? Is this particular subset only entitled to love? What about those single women who may not have a string of alphabets behind their names? Are they not worthy of a husband? Then naturally I take issue with the focus being on black women…as if the pickings of quality men (or women, I don’t judge) don’t exist for other nationalities. Then that brings me to another dynamic that I have not heard in these worn-out discussions, what percentage of “successful black women” ACTUALLY wants a man? Is the homosexual group included in the discussion? If so, then that almighty 42% of successful single black women needs to be brought down.

Basically what I have to say about this whole thing is that it is foolish to focus on one demographic when it is well known that women outnumber men. That fact in and of itself presents a problem for women in general when it comes to seeking love. If you don’t believe, check out the host of commercials that match.com and eHarmony create. Apparently there must be a shortage in supply of “quality white men” for our white female counterparts. While it may be true that for some it may be a bit more difficult (namely ethnicities that choose to date within their own race), I believe that this is a private matter that individuals need to deal with on their own. The incessant message that the media repeats over and over is not one that women should buy into. I know that I will remain steadfast in my belief that my future husband will find me and no amount of doubters will have anything to do with my union, prior to or after it is formed. So that’s my opinion, what’s yours?


  1. HappilySingle says:

    EXACTLY – Why do we always have to be the label with this issue?

  2. James L. says:

    Check it! My moms is single, and she is happy! She does not want to be married, especially at this point in her life. Not everyone will get married. This is just the fact. And working with so many people of different races, I can tell you that it’s not just a “Black” thing.

  3. Kim says:

    I’m looking for an honest man. Until then, I’m happily single! # thatisall

    • honestblackman says:

      Women say that but its not true. If you open up too much they call you soft, too little and they act like you are hiding something. What in the world do they expect us to do?

      • Kim says:

        In my experiences I have yet to find that! Maybe you’re that one in a lifetime or million. You guys have it easy, you can choose at will, yet we have to wait on you

        • honestblackman says:

          Guys having it easy please. Women have all the control in this stuff, us men just have to try and deal with yall foolishness.

  4. Keisha M says:

    Love, love, love the article and I totally agree with the sentiment. Can’t wait for your next post!

  5. singlebutlooking says:

    I totally agree with the author…why is there always focus on the single black female? Obviously there are single white women, single Hispanic woman and single Asian women out there, but yet we are always the target for these statistics. In regards to our choices, as a single, black female I am open-minded and I am not waiting for a black man to come along – I am waiting for a good man, regardless of his color to come along. I haven’t given up on black men; however, they are able to choose and select what race they want to marry or date, why can’t I? If I waited around for a good, heterosexual, single, faithful, honest, black man to come around…. I will be single at 92!

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